by Frank Coffey
Washington (eTruePolitics) – During the dessert course of a late-afternoon supper today, former president Donald Trump badly sprained his right temporomandibular (jaw) joint while aggressively chewing a large slice of red velvet cake, eTruePolitics has learned. The injury required emergency medical assistance.
“The slice was too big for his mouth,” said a paramedic who explained that the plump ex-president would likely have to “change his eating style.”
The injury reportedly occurred just moments after the 74-year-old’s supper plate was removed and replaced with his dessert.
“He scarfed it up, man,” said a waiter, who requested anonymity because he feared for his life. “The slice was huge, they always are. And it’s like he’s inhaling, not eating. Seriously gross.”
Trump’s former press secretary Kaleigh McEnany quickly defended Trump’s voracious eating style.
“Ex-President Trump has no problem whatsoever controlling any of his appetites,” said McEnany. “For example, he has never once touched any of my personal private parts.”
Photo courtesy of Moral Desert magazine.