by Frank Coffey
Bedminster, NJ (eTruePolitics) – After an early-bird supper at his Bedminster golf course Donald Trump sprained his right temporomandibular joint early Sunday evening. Sources who witnessed the incident said the current president was injured while aggressively chewing a large slice of red velvet cake, eTruePolitics has learned.
“He inhaled that cake,” said a WH staffer who requested anonymity because he feared for his life. The injury reportedly occurred moments after the 73-year-old’s dinner plate was removed.
“The slice was huge, they always are. And it’s like he’s inhaling, not eating. It’s pretty gross,” the staffer told eTruePolitics.
Trump press secretary Kaleigh McEnany leapt to the plump president’s defense.
“Mr. Trump has no problem whatsoever controlling any of his appetites,” declared McEnany.
“For example, he has never once touched any of my private parts.”