Author: eTruePolitics

Quick Hits

  • Donald Trump has reportedly refused to file a Missing Person’s Search Report for his current wife Melania Knauss Trump with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.  “He just doesn’t want to do anything,” shrugged an aide.

  • Rudy Giuliani’s (current) favorite wine: Pinot Aggrievio.

  • An investigation by the American Internet Research Firm failed to find any nude photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene. “There is a god,” an AIRF researcher told eTruePolitics.

  • Clarence Thomas will reportedly resign his Supreme Court seat to join My Pillow as Vice-President of Napping. “I’m a fathead and need a firm pillow,” explained Thomas in his lengthiest written statement since joining the Court in 1991.

  • Governor Greg Abbott has signed into law a bill which criminalizes decent behavior of any kind, under any circumstances, within Texas. “Republicans will end decency in the Lone Star State,” vowed Abbott.

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