Washington, D.C., Columbus, IN (eTruePolitics) – Under the bus, Mike Pence. Rumors abounded through Washington today that Donald Trump, furious with accusations from Republican donor Lev Parnas about Pence’s involvement in the Ukraine shakedown would demand Pence’s resignation before the weekend. Sources close to the White House said Trump would use a cover story that dumping Pence would  stimulate the economy, eTruePolitics has learned.

“Saving $230,700 is nothing to sneeze at,” Trump reportedly told aides. “I’ll tell the American people I asked Mike to make a sacrifice for the country and that he’s an American hero. I think they’ll buy it.”

Sources close to the “shocked” Pence say the vp is ready to quickly take a position with McDonald’s in his home town of Columbus, Indiana as soon as next week, creating an immediate problem for the company’s upper management.  Columbus, Indiana has three McDonald’s but only one famous native son.

“I’m a hard worker but I can’t be in three places at the same time,” an irritated Pence reportedly snapped at senior aides, before learning that a plan will be implemented allowing him to spend mornings at the downtown 3rd St location and then rotate between the franchises on N. National Road and Jonathan Moore Pike.

“Okay, this is embarrassing for sure,” a senior staffer told eTruePolitics. “But at the same time, this is a dream come true for Mikey, he loves to be driven around while leaning out the window.”

“Dreams are  good,” said Pence, “as long as they’re not about sex.”




Photo illustration by Ray Dougela