Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – With news that nationwide polls report that an unprecedented 56% of Americans disapprove of his presidency, a beleaguered and dispirited Donald Trump, the 45th president of the United States, will shortly resign the presidency in order to “spend more time with his family, including Melania,” according to sources close to the White House.

“The president is very disappointed in all Americans,” said White House communications honcho Sarah Sanders.

“‘I don’t  need this shit, I fucking quit,’ were his exact words,'” a grim Sanders said. “And then he waddled away into the night.”

“Who’s going to introduce him to Melania?” joked a staffer who requested anonymity before speaking to eTruePolitics because she feared for her life.


Photo illustrations by Ray Dougela