New York (eTruePolitics) – Current United States President Donald Trump is set to name longtime confidante John Barron as Supreme Court nominee, eTruePolitics has learned.
“I trust John Barron more than anyone in the world,” Mr. Trump reportedly told top advisor Roger Stone.
Barron, also known as John Miller, has no legal experience but is a longtime Trump ‘whisperer’ and reliable doppelganger. Barron/Miller could not be reached for commented.
CNN is reporting that first daughter Ivanka Trump has sent a top secret memo to her brothers saying she is “worried about Daddy.”
Later, in order to avoid reporters, a sobbing, distraught Ivanka was abruptly hustled by bodyguards into “Falafel King,” a popular Trump Tower restaurant to avoid reporters.
“I didn’t know Ivanka even had tear ducts,” said a Trump staffer who requested anonymity because he feared for his life.
White House press secretary Sean Spicer denied the incident at the Middle Eastern restaurant. “Ivanka hates falafel,” Spicer explained.
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela