New York (eTruePolitics) – New York University paleontologists excavating the site of a new luxury hotel in Manhattan have unearthed the bones of Tyrannosaurus Rump, or T.rump, one of the rarest dinosaurs from the Trumpozoic era, approximately 666 million years ago. Stunningly, DNA on-site field testing revealed that a living ancestor of the creature could conceivably exist today, prompting the Trump administration to quick action.
“At the request of president Trump, we are putting the nation on high alert,” said White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, speaking from a D.C. district jail after her latest DUI arrest.
“You can never be too careful around dinosaurs or drunk drivers.”
The discovery of the T.rump, a bellicose carnivore with a negligible cerebrum mass, short limbs featuring tiny claw-like hands, and a head festooned with orange feathers, surprised paleontologists who previously believed the T.rump had never migrated north of what is now Mexico.
Primarily a scavenger, the T.rump featured a distinctive forked tongue seen only in sexually immature male reptiles.
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela