New York (eTruePolitics) – New York University paleontologists excavating at the site of a new luxury hotel in Manhattan have unearthed the bones of Tyrannosaurus Rump, or T.rump, one of the rarest dinosaurs from the Trumpozoic era, approximately 666 million years ago.
Stunningly, DNA on-site field testing revealed that a living ancestor of the creature could conceivably exist today, prompting the Trump administration to quick action.
“We are putting the nation on high alert,” warned current White House press secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders.
“At the request of president Trump, we are intensively searching New York City, Washington D.C. and South Florida for any T.rump sightings,”Sanders added. “You can never be too careful around dinosaurs.”
The discovery of the T.rump, a bellicose carnivore with a negligible cerebrum mass, short limbs featuring tiny claw-like hands, and a head covered with rare orange feathers, surprised paleontologists who previously believed the T.rump had never migrated north of what is now Mexico.
Primarily a scavenger, the T.rump featured a distinctive forked tongue seen only in sexually immature male reptiles.
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela