by Frank Coffey

Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – “Mike is a great American, but when I told him Sarah’s greater he quickly agreed,” said current president Trump today in announcing he was dumping Mike Pence as his vice-presidential running mate and replacing him with former Alaska governor Sarah Palin. In a rambling speech the president explained the change to his plummeting campaign.

“Sarah really likes me, and that’s the most important thing. To me. Really great woman, great, great woman. And much more fun than Mike Pence who lives in a small state and only shoots small animals.  Sarah lives in Alaska, a big, big state. And shoots really big animals. Beautiful big animals. So big. Even when they’re dead they’re big. They tell me Alaska is far away, but I think that’s just more fake news.

“My advisors tell me that winter will be coming someday and Sarah knows more about snow than anybody but me. So it will be very, very fantastic to have her by my side and hopefully get a chance to rub up against her in a hot tub.

“I never wanted to do that with Mike Pence, I can tell you that.”