New York (eTruePolitics) – Another day, another meltdown.  “SAD AND NOT FUNNY!” wrote current president Donald Trump in a late-night tweet denouncing the “VICIOUS SO-CALLED JOKE” that ‘Hail to the Chief’ would be replaced as the official United States Presidential Anthem by ‘Heil to the Tweet.’ The rumor had previously gone unreported.

According to sources, upon learning of the rumor from cultural affairs adviser Dinesh D’Souza the president regressed to a once common childhood temper tantrum, throwing himself on the floor before vigorously gnawing on a (Persian) rug.

“We call him ‘karpetmunchen’,” said one aide. “But it’s sort of not funny when you see it.”

“Despite the disgusting untruths,” said Trump’s embattled press secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders, “Mr. Trump’s amazing self-awareness once again served him well in a crisis.

“First, Mr. Trump did some controlled breathing which he enjoys more than Zazen meditation which he practiced for years.  Then he ate a big piece of Red Velvet cake, drank a glass of milk,  and by 4 a.m. he was in bed.

“His calm demeanor and awesome savoir faire was amazing to behold,” added an emotional Sanders.