by Frank Coffey
Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – In an unexpected move current president Donald Trump announced today the creation of the Orange Heart Medal the nation’s first new major military award since the Purple Heart was created in 1917. “The Purple Heart is great but it’s old,” tweeted Trump.
White House staffers openly questioned the wisdom of the timing of the announcement and were said to be concerned about Trump’s emotional state after an unflattering photo of him – which was quickly deemed Orange Face – went hugely viral.
“He went nuts when he saw the Orange Face picture,” said one White House staffer who requested anonymity before speaking because he feared for his life. “And when we explained to him what ‘viral’ meant he got even angrier. Next thing we know we get a memo about announcing the Orange Heart Medal which, of course, we’d never heard of because it didn’t exist.”
Surprising few, the president said the first recipient of the “Orange Heart Medal” would be former military school cadet Donald J. Trump.
“I deserve it,” explained Trump, “my bone spurs are killing me.”
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela