Washington, Moscow (eTruePolitics) – Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene’s request for an Officer’s Commission into Russian mercenary force The Wagner Group was denied today, eTruePolitics has learned.

In her formal application Greene wrote that despite Ukraine having few lakes she could best serve president Putin’s army-for-hire as an admiral in the Russian/Wagner navy.  “Under my leadership, we’ll rule the Ukrainian high seas,” vowed the putative officer.  Minutes later the Wagner Group denied Greene’s request for a commission.

“We’re brutal and despicable but we’re not stupid,” explained a spokesman for The Wagner Group in discussing their decision to reject Greene’s application.

“I sure could use the rubles,” said a disappointed Greene.