Washington (eTruePolitics) –  “It’s the least I can do since I practically started the war,” said beleaguered Fox TV host Tucker Carlson in announcing today he would donate “lots” of his favorite soup to Ukrainians suffering from the Russian invasion.  “I can get a good price,” joked Carlson. “I know people.”  And in this case, he’s not lying.

Carlson’s step-mother, Patricia Swanson, who married his father when Carlson was ten years-old, is heiress to the enormous wealth generated by the company that created Swanson TV Dinners, ever present in millions of unfortunate American homes in the 1950s and 60s.  Carlson, who friends insist is deeply embarrassed by the “unearned wealth” pouring in from his step-mother, rarely mentions the connection to Swanson, making today’s soup donation announcement all the more surprising. Less surprising was Carlson’s (deftly) deflecting media questions about the voting-machine company Dominion’s lawsuit against Fox.

“I’m a happily married man and have never gone to a dominion,” claimed Carlson.

 The magacrite – whose net worth is $30 million and reportedly “passionately hates” soup – said his “Big Jerk Chicken” was his favorite Swanson product and he was certain that Ukrainians would find it “yummy and comforting.” Carlson added that it was his “fervent” hope that the Ukrainians would share ‘BJC’ soup deliveries with the Russian soldiers occupying their country.

“A little kindness can go a long way to healing wounds,” Carlson explained.



photo illustration by Ray Dougela