by Frank Coffey
Washington (eTruePolitics) – Furious with wife Melania’s tacky renovations to Mar-a-Lago, current president Donald Trump has decided to replace her as First Lady with his eldest daughter, White House sources told eTruePolitics. The rumor that the President has been increasingly annoyed by Melania Trump’s Slovenian-accented English has been circulating in Washington for months.
“This renovation blowup is just a smoke screen,“ explained a longtime aide who requested anonymity before speaking to the press because he feared for his life. “The President likes people who sound like Americans. Ivanka’s 12 years younger. It’s a no brainer.”
The transition is expected to go smoothly, according to White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany. “Ivanka can just move into Melania’s bedroom.”
Despite the fact that the president once said he would “perhaps” consider dating Ivanka if she wasn’t his daughter, McEnany told reporters that, “There will be absolutely no hanky-panky going on between Ivanka and her daddy while he remains in office.”
“No comment,” snapped Ivanka’s husband, Jared Kushner, when asked about his wife’s proposed move.
“This will be the best thing that’s ever happened to Melania,” said a source close to the current First Lady. “She hates her husband, hates Ivanka, hates Jared, hates Washington, hates Mar-a-Lago and has friends in Slovenia (her native country) who she claims actually like her.”
Photo courtesy of People magazine.