Washington (eTruePolitics) – Alarmed by declining poll numbers, President Trump has decided to replace wife Melania as First Lady with his eldest daughter, White House sources told eTruePolitics.
“This isn’t as weird as it sounds,” explained one aide. “The President doesn’t sleep with his current wife anyway so there’ll be a bedroom immediately available.”
Despite once saying that “perhaps” he would consider dating Ivanka if she wasn’t his daughter, “There will be absolutely no hanky-panky going on,” claimed the aide.
It’s an open secret that the two women detest one another, making Ivanka’s transition to Melania Trump’s bedroom “fraught with peril,” said a longtime White House staffer. “This could be big fun.”
“No comment,” snapped Ivanka’s husband, Jared Kushner, when told of the proposed move.
The rumor that the President is annoyed by Melania’s accent has been circulating in Washington for years. “The President likes real Americans, “ explained another aide. “Plus, Ivanka’s 12 years younger. It’s a no brainer.”
“This will be the best thing that’s ever happened to Melania,” said a source close to the current First Lady. “She hates her husband, hates Ivanka and Jared, hates Washington, and has friends in Slovenia (her native country) who actually seem to like her.”