Washington (eTruePolitics) – Sources close to John Kelly say the current president’s chief of staff has ordered presidential son-in-law Jared Kushner be commissioned a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army and immediately be deployed to Iraq.

“As soon as Jared is strong enough to lift an M16, every A-rab should be very afraid,” Kelly told pool reporters.

Though no member of the Kushner family has ever been in the military, Jared’s father Charles did serve 14 months at the Federal Prison in Montgomery, Alabama for illegal campaign contributions and hiring a prostitute to entrap his brother-in-law.