By Frank Coffey
Moonpie, South Carolina (eTruePolitics) – A newly formed super Pac based in Moonpie, South Carolina has been approved by the Federal Election Commission (FEC) and will immediately begin pouring money into Senator Lindsey Graham’s financially flailing Senate campaign, according to Squigg Lee Biskett, the FCPA’s treasurer.
“Old Lindsey needs a refill,” said Biskett, a 79-year-old retired bourbon distiller, who explained the group was funded by patriotic Magalites who believe epidemiologist and Trump critic Dr. Anthony Fauci was leading a nationwide cabal of “smarty-pants doctors” attempting to scare U.S. citizens into not voting in the upcoming elections.
“We’re a group of freedom loving folks who ain’t afraid of getting phony diseases,” said Biskett, who accused Fauci of being a “fast-talking spitweasel spewing fear in the ignorant geezer community.”
Graham applauded the “Future Covid-19 Patients of America” in an impromptu media appearance. “Squigg Lee is a personal friend of mine,” said Graham who acknowledged he had received 45 cases of bourbon from the FCPA over the weekend.
Observers pointed to the distilled spirits contribution as a possible explanation for Graham’s disjointed performance at Monday’s Senate Judiciary Committee’s hearings on Judge Amy Coney Barrrett’s nomination to the Supreme Court.
“I haven’t had a campaign infusion in weeks,” added Graham who admitted he “may have over-enjoyed” himself on Saturday night.
“I don’t drink on Sunday; never have,” Graham said, “so how in hell anyone could say I was fuzzy during Judge Amy’s Monday hearings is beyond tiny little me.”
Photo credit @ Daily Mail