By Frank Coffey
Palm Beach, FL (eTruePolitics) – Donald Trump’s ongoing series of self-created humiliations hit close to home today when his Mar-a-Lago resort implemented new rules on his breakfast privileges.
According to a report obtained by the Miami Herald from independent investigators hired by the Mar-a-Lago resort the portly former president has been pouring “vats” of Vermont Grade A Amber on his daily 12” inch high stack of buttermilk bacon flapjacks.
“We’re facing severe shortages of maple syrup reserves,” claimed head breakfast Chef Hubert Dangerfield, who added, “This is unsustainable, not to mention really gross.”
The new restrictions highlight the escalating tensions between Mar-a-Lago residents, many of whom are calling for the disgraced ex-president to permanently vacate the landmark members-only resort which was built by Post Cereal heiress Marjorie Merriweather Post in 1927.
It is common knowledge that the portly ex-president has never consumed a bowl of Post or any other cereal in his life.
“Ironic isn’t it?” said a Mar-a-Lago server who requested anonymity to speak to a reporter because he feared for his family’s safety.
Trump attorney Rudy Giuliani said he was planning on filing a lawsuit against Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders who he chastised for “politicizing maple syrup” and described as the instigator of “this harassment of a great syrup-loving patriot.”