Accuses Biden of preparing a nuclear strike on Mar-a-Lago during his first 24 hours in office

by Frank Coffey

Washington (eTruePolitics) – In a development that the World Health Organization swiftly characterized as “worrisome for the future of all living things,” current president DJ Trump announced today the formation of a Nuclear Weapons Relocation Task Force (NWRTF) to study the feasibility of moving a “limited” number of nuclear weapons to Mar-A-Lago beginning in January.

“We have a big lawn,” explained Trump in dismissing criticism of the nuke relocation idea which has been called “deeply cuckoo” in a letter signed by over 2,000 current and former U.S. military generals and admirals.

The Weapons Relocation Task Force will be led by Fox TV presenters Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson and will be coordinated through The Proud Boys, a male-only, extra-governmental group of Trump loyalists.

The president contends that Joe Biden has threatened a nuclear strike on Trump’s Florida residence within 24 hours of assuming the presidency on Jan 20. “Sleepy Joe said it’s his first priority,” said Trump, who indicated that he and Melania would quickly learn how to “push all the beautiful nuke buttons to defend our family.”

Sean Hannity said he was surprised at his appointment but said “Whatever Donald Trump says is okay by me and totally true.” In a very brief telephone interview, Carlson said he was “jazzed up” at his new assignment. When asked whether his wife and  four children were similarly excited, Carlson shouted an expletive and ended the call .

Observers pointed out that Trump left out any mention of defending friends along with his family.

“Commencing on noon on January 20th, Mr. Trump will have trouble finding any friends,” commented presidential historian Michael Beschloss.

In a rambling speech announcing the task force, Trump said he was planning on having the The Proud Boys organization handle the logistics of getting the nukes to Palm Beach from Kirtland Air Force Base in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the largest  nuclear weapons storage facility in the U.S. “Most of the boys can’t read,” said Trump “so we’ll have detailed colored route maps to help them find their way.

“Unfortunately, there won’t be any room for any of The Boys in our fallout shelter.”

 

 

Photo credit: nextbigfuture.com