Istanbul, Moscow (eTruePolitics) – In the wake of the killing of Iranian commander Qasem Soleimani Presidents Vladimir Putin of Russia and Recep Erdogan of Turkey announced today they would share joint custody of an increasingly confused U.S. President Donald Trump “should that become necessary in the coming days.” The president’s own family has reportedly declined to play any role in his caregiving. “He’s a prick,” said one of the president’s sons who requested anonymity because he feared for his life.

The Putin/Erdogan announcement came as a surprise to many Trump watchers who thought the visibly deteriorating post-attack Trump would be cared for by either his family or Mohammad Bin Salman of Saudi Arabia. Care-giving, however, does not seem the Trump or MBS family way.

“He’s bombing and killing all over the place, and my lawyers tell me I have children to care for,”  said Donald Trump, Jr. when asked by reporters whether he would take care of his father.

“Don’t look at me,” said Ivanka Trump for the first time in her life.

“I am deeply indebted to President Putin and President Erdogan,” said Mohammad bin Salman. “My wives would’ve killed me.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela