Istanbul, Moscow (eTruePolitics) – In a joint statement following a whispered non-public five minute conversation Presidents Vladimir Putin of Russia and Recep Erdogan of Turkey announced today they would share joint custody of quickly declining current U.S. President Donald Trump “should that become necessary in the coming days.”

The announcement came as a surprise to many Trump watchers who thought the visibly deteriorating Trump would be cared for by either his family or Mohammad Bin Salman of Saudi Arabia. Care-giving, however, does not seem the Trump or MBS family way.

“No fucking way,” said Donald Trump, Jr. when asked by reporters whether he would take care of his father.

“Don’t look at me,” said Ivanka Trump for the first time in her life.

“I am deeply indebted to President Putin and President Erdogan,” said Mohammad bin Salman. “My wives would’ve killed me.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela