Washington (eTruePolitics) – A new musical, “Screwed,” explores the hard life of Jeff Bezos, Amazon’s CEO and the wealthiest human being on the planet … who has issues. Issues, like cheating on his wife to take up with LA TV personality  Lauren Sanchez, which didn’t stop him from deciding to star in the film.  (Currently, Bezos’ issues include not providing health care benefits for part-time Whole Foods’ employees making $15.00 per hour.)

“Screwed” opens with Bezos, a soprano, somberly singing, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power,” (a quote from Abraham Lincoln).

So why in the world would Jeff Bezos participate – never mind ‘star’ – in a musical film which would inevitably reveal his shortcomings? “Screwed” tries, and fails miserably, to answer that question.  Bezos croons the answer to that question in the film’s finale.

“I’m not a despicable greed-head or a gelatinous maggot or a small brown turd,” a plaintive Bezos wails as  the credits roll.  “I know people detest me. I have to live with that every day. It’s not easy being Jeff Bezos.”

The critics, including eTruePolitics, were not kind. We gave “Screwed” a grade of F.  Viewers should be warned that Netflix, reportedly under political and financial pressure, is close to burying this musical version of the classic Scrooge story, a decision that would be applauded by many.

“Don’t blame Netflix,” an angry film distributor told eTruePolitics.

“There’s no redemption. It’s a downer. And Bezos can’t sing for shit.”

 

photo illustration by Ray Dougela