Washington (eTruePolitics) – Doubling down on current president Donald Trump’s accusation that Michael Cohen’s now famous $35,000 check is “fake news,” Ohio Republican congressman Jim Jordan today denied the check’s existence.

“Michael Cohen is a proven liar and a very not good man and of course no $35,000 check signed by our president exists,” said Jordan in a carefully worded prepared statement.

The decision by Jordan – not known for his intellectual rigor – to actually deny the existence of a check seen by millions of Americans caused usually supportive colleague Texas Republican Louie Gohmert to call him “dumb as an armadillo.”  Jordan’s office responded with uncharacteristic restraint.

“Louie’s probably never heard of Photoshop,” offered a top Jordan aide, who firmly denied reporting that Jordan’s official Congressional photograph had been digitally altered to hide the congressman’s prominent bald spot.

Known for his extreme vanity and pugnacious demeanor, Jordan is not without his supporters.

“I know he looks, acts and sounds like an insensitive lout,” said one Republican who asked not to be identified. “But Jimmy is actually a very sensitive man and is easily hurt.

“We’re all very worried about him.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela