Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – It turns out that if you’re going to war, you need to look your best. At least that’s what Fox commentator and Joey D’s Hair Plug CEO Joe diGenova will shortly announce as the theme of his company’s new national advertising campaign, sources familiar with the matter told eTruePolitics.

On Fox News diGenova recently said about the political divide in the country, “It’s going to be total war” and in the next sentence added “I do two things – I vote and I buy guns.”

Critics are saying diGenova’s use of “If you’re going to war, you need to look your best” as a central advertising message to sell hair plugs is “grotesque,” “despicable,” and “criminal” – and those are the muted criticisms.

“I think you should always look good in public, in war or peace,” diGenova said.

Joey D’s Hair Plug System was set up in Delaware as an LLC by Trump’s longtime personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, who, diGenova joked, “looks like he needs to be a client very soon, the poor bastard.”

The company has not been without controversy, and is currently defending itself in a class action suit brought by angry customers alleging that “Joey D’s” made false claims about the system’s effectiveness. The suit alleges that hair plugs are a potentially dangerous and outdated technology long since replaced by far more effective and safer hair transplants.

“Plug this, Joey,” said one angry 28-year old client. “I was thinning, now I don’t have a single hair on my head.”

“No one calls me a ‘fraudster and weasel,’ and gets away with it,” commented diGenova.



Photo illustration by Ray Dougela