Stamford, CT  (eTruePolitics) – What if you could take a pill that would make you smarter … and nicer? Well, according to Purdue Pharma, you can.

The besieged pharmaceutical giant – accused of years of profiteering by putting a premium on selling high dosages of the company’s opioid painkiller OxyContin – announced today DeFoxify (propagandagone), a new pill that the company says can wean viewers from their addiction to Fox News.

“Today’s announcement makes Purdue and the Sacklers look slightly less loathsome,” said a longtime observer of the pharmaceutical industry.

“The Sackler family (which owns Purdue) are a savvy bunch and with Massachusetts suing them for knowingly fueling the opioid crisis to make an extra buck, they knew they had to change the narrative. DeFoxify is a product that can change the world, and save the company.”

Not everyone welcomed the news.

The White House quickly and angrily denied reports that current president Donald Trump would begin taking DeFoxify.

“President Trump does not need to be smarter, more rational, more empathetic or less bigoted,” said White House communications honcho Sarah Sanders. “That’s ridiculous.”

Update 2.7.19: The DeFoxify print advertising campaign’s newest keyart was obtained by eTruePolitics through a source close to Purdue Pharma.



Photo illustration by Ray Dougela