by Frank Coffey

“Nobody can dig herself a hole better. Or deeper.” – D. Trump, president. Of the United States.

Washington, Caribou ME (eTruePolitics) – Donald J. Trump is not often called classy.  But, despite Susan Collins ‘yes’ vote on allowing evidence in the impeachment trial of the president, Trump still named the Maine Senator, a longtime close personal friend, to the newly created  post of Official Gravedigger of the nation’s first ‘Cemetery of Humanity.”  The new graveyard will be located in Collins’ hometown of Caribou.

“Decency is overrated,” said Trump in an official statement congratulating Collins, “and Suzie is a perfect example.”

“This is a dream come true for me,” gushed Collins, before joking that given the frozen ground characteristic of Maine winters she hoped that president Trump “won’t make me dig any graves in February because I voted yes.”

Since Republican Lamar Alexander announced he would vote against allowing evidence Collins’ yes vote (as well as Lisa Murkowski’s ) are widely regarded as meaningless gestures to attract moderate voters. Profiles in Courage it is not.

Collins denied the timing of the coveted appointment was an attempt by the president to influence her vote in the Senate Impeachment Trial.

“This is about jobs, jobs, jobs,” said Collins, “after all I can’t dig every grave myself.”

Trump denied any knowledge that a new Trump Caribou casino was in the planning stage. “But if she loses her next election,”  Trump said,  “I know who’s going to be CEO of Trump Caribou.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela