Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) –  With rumors abounding that he is about to be fired, a distraught Sean Spicer, who was briefly spotted behind a White House hedge today, has disappeared from public view amid reports that he has been heavily sedated by an on-call administration physician.

“When he started shouting about Sarah Huckabee Sanders being an ‘evil succubus,’ the President directed the doctors to help quiet Sean down,” explained occasional spokesperson Kellyanne Conway.

“It was an act of extraordinary compassion,” said Conway.


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela