Birmingham, AL (eTruePolitics) – The annual Flapjacks For Jesus Festival at the Dolomite Evangelical Conservative Church on Thursday was anything but festive this year as a visage of Donald Trump complete with Devil’s horns suddenly appeared on hundreds of pancakes.

“I just brought my flapjack plate back to the table and there it was,” said a shocked Lewis Medlock, a longtime Dolomite worshiper. “Mr. Trump’s face. He had horns. Devil’s horns. The butter was like his hair, and the syrup looked like it was spewing from his mouth. And the sausages were like stubby fingers.

“I saw it, we all saw it. At first it scared the begeezus out of us, pardon my French.”

But the conservative congregation did not let fear shake their faith.

“We realized it was a sign,” explained Mr. Medlock, “and that we should not be afraid.

“All we had to do was ask ourselves, ‘What would Jesus do?’

“The answer was obvious. Vote Democrat.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela