“We all put our Brazilian fighting bottoms on the same way.”
New York (eTruePolitics) – Sources close to Donald Trump say the mogul will fight Ronda Rousey, the former UFC women’s bantamweight champion in a pay-per-view, fund-raising exhibition bout from Las Vegas. Trump, who will fight under the name “The Orangutan,” denied the move was a response to lagging campaign fundraising.
“I’d fight hot chicks for no money,” claimed Trump who confirmed that UFC President Dana White had granted him a waiver to employ a sock full of pennies in his bout against Rousey.
“Ronda may be small but she’s tough and I’m about to turn 70,” Trump said responding to criticism that the rolled pennies constituted an unfair advantage.
Still, the real estate speculator declared himself unafraid of fighting the UFC’s first-ever woman champion.
“We all put our Brazilian fighting bottoms on the same way, one leg at a time,” said the current Republican presidential candidate.
“He looks like a veal sausage,” said an unimpressed Rousey, “and I’m just the girl to grill him.”
Frank Coffey is the author of the humor tomes "The Complete Idoit's Guide for Dumies" (Ten Speed Press), "The All Time Baseball Teams Book" (St. Martin's Press), and "The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner." He has over 200 books on his resume, including four novels; has written for television and film, and been a book, newspaper and magazine editor. His name, Frank Downs Coffey, is a sentence. Ray Dougela is a graphic designer, photoshop artist, illustrator, art director, video editor, musician, and five ball juggler whose clients have included ESPN, HBO, Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, ABC, Disney, Warner, Turner Entertainment, and Jose Cuervo. Dougela’s been a blackjack dealer in Lake Tahoe, a bartender in San Francisco and a guitarist/ songwriter in Los Angeles, but probably that's all in the past.