Washington (eTruePolitics) – Current president Donald Trump will formally announce to the country that he has added a Medal of Honor to his heretofore private ‘Trump Awards’ collection, eTruePolitics has learned. “I can’t believe how easy it was to get one of these things,” a high-spirited Trump told eTP in an interview following his acquisition of a rare Medal of Honor award from a veteran.
“I offered whathisname $5 grand, which I think was a tremendously generous offer. And believe me when I found out the guy, you know, the vet, whatever … was a destitute former POW, I didn’t want to cut my offer in half. But, gotta do what you gotta do. I’m a businessman.”
In broad strokes, the current president outlined future plans for the Trump Awards.
“I’m gonna stick this Medal of Honor with my Purple Heart, the new Orange Heart, and that Nobel one – which cost me a pretty penny – in the Oval office. I gotta snag one of those Pulitzer’s too. I write good.
“I like awards,” Trump explained. “They make me feel important.”
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela