Hunt Valley, MD (eTruePolitics) – Conservative broadcaster Sinclair Broadcasting – with 193 stations the country’s largest owner of local TV stations – announced today it was firing hundreds of local news anchors. The anchors will be replaced by a single animatronic clown named Julian after the company’s founder Julian Smith.

SBG’s anchors have been deluged with criticism for reading the same consistently pro-Trump script to millions of their viewers, including editorial commentaries accusing the main stream media of bias and being “extremely dangerous to democracy.”

In fact, many of the Sinclair anchors have demonstrated their unhappiness with the company dictates, even rolling their eyes on air after being ordered to do what in the industry is called a “forced read.”

Today’s firing of all of SBG’s anchors may be an indication that the anchors’ unhappiness is spreading throughout the company with the possibility of hundreds of on-air protests by other angry anchors “very real,” according to a company executive who requested anonymity before speaking because he feared for his life. Rather than endure the possibility of embarrassment, Sinclair executives decided to replace the anchors with the clown.

“We just program in what we want Julian to say about Trump and the evil mainstream media, and broadcast it 24 hours a day,” explained Sinclair’s reclusive executive chairman David Smith, head of the Smith family which controls Sinclair.

“We’ll save millions just from salaries alone and we’ll make money off the contractual damages clause,” explained the truculent, media-phobic Smith in a rare interview. “Who needs people anyway? They just have those damn opinions.

“The truth is what we and Mr. Trump say it is.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela