Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – According to the Restaurant Group of America, Russian President Vladimir Putin is “no fun and chews with his mouth open,” prompting the trade organization to encourage restaurants across the nation to prominently post “Putin-free” signs. After two days more than 113,000 of the nation’s 660,755 have signed up to display “Putin-free” signage, a source familiar with the matter told eTruePolitics.

Citing free speech concerns, a furious current president Donald Trump directed the Supreme Court to immediately ban all restaurants from displaying Putin-free warning signs.  “I need the Supreme Court to stand up for freedom,” Trump tweeted. “Vladi does not chew with his mouth open. And, believe me, he’s great company, VERY FUNNY!”

“I’d immediately hurl,” said Washington resident Sylvia Cathcart  when asked how she would respond if Putin were to walk into a restaurant where she was dining.

“Putin-free restaurants are the right choice for America,” said a spokesman for the Restaurant Group.


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela