by John Nelson & Frank Coffey

Palm Beach, FL (eTruePolitics) – Demonstrating that he is deadly serious about a presidential run in 2024, Donald Trump today sued the estate of Senator Joe McCarthy (R-WI) for permission to disinter the disgraced Senator’s remains in order to retrieve a DNA sample that would allow the former president to clone McCarthy with the goal of adding him as a running mate.

“An alive Joe McCarthy would be a tremendous addition to the ticket,” said Trump, who added that the previous vice-president, Mike Pence, “often appeared dead.”

In questioning the lawsuit, John Poofka, a spokesman for the McCarthy estate, said, “Though we are HUGE supporters of Mr. Trump, we’re not sure he is receiving solid scientifically-based advice on cloning.”

Poofka pointed out that even if McCarthy was successfully cloned it would take him 35 years to become old enough to satisfy the Constitutional age requirement to serve as Vice-President.

“I don’t need any advice about cloning or science or the Constitution which is way overrated and needs to be shitcanned,” Trump responded.

“I’m not a scientist or a lawyer,” said House minority leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) “but I applaud President Trump’s brilliant, ground-breaking cloning plan. Even if the timing isn’t perfect, my Uncle Joe is a great choice to be the first cloned vice-president,” McCarthy added. “We can only pray that happens sooner rather than later.”

Trump’s cloning plan is rumored to be expanding to include Roy Cohn, McCarthy’s ruthless, unscrupulous counsel on the House UnAmerican Activities committee in the 1950s. “We need lawyers,” explained a Trump aide, “God knows no one who’s currently alive wants to be seen defending Donald.”