Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – Beleaguered Fox personality Sean Hannity announced today that he and his wife, Jill Rhodes, will be moving to a D.C. area mansion to be “closer to Donald Trump.”

“The president needs me,” said Hannity, who denied the move to the White House grounds was designed to thwart subpoena-serving-federal-marshals who reportedly have reportedly all ready penetrated the defensive perimeter surrounding Hannity’s Nassau County mansion.

“They scared my hamsters and my kids,” said an angry Hannity, who denied that the leaky perimeter defense was supervised by his personal lawyer Michael Cohen.

“Mikey only handles the sex stuff for me,” explained Hannity.

“Our new home has quite a large yard,” added Jill Rhodes, “complete with a kiddie slide. Sean just loves slides. When the weather warms up I’m sure Mikey will come over and they’ll play for hours. Two grown men in bathing suits giddy with joy. I can’t wait to see it.”



Photo illustration Ray Dougela