By Frank Coffey

Washington (eTruePolitics) – In a rare concession to criticism, Donald J. Trump, current president (of the United States) announced today the Center for Disease Control and Prevention would be renamed.

“I was dead wrong,” said Trump at an impromptu interview in the White House driveway. “The coronavirus is a threat to all Americans and when Nancy Pelosi suggested it would be logical to change the CDC’s name I quickly agreed.”

According to sources close to the Trump family, this is the first time since The Donald was a toddler that he has changed his mind. “He was four years old when he demanded his chef serve him Coke instead of milk at breakfast,” a longtime family friend told eTruePolitics.

“Okay he’s grossly obese, and eats a fat-centric diet and hasn’t exercised in 50 years, but at 73 he’s still alive. No one would have taken a bet on that.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela