| eTruePolitics

Posted by eTruePolitics | Oct 5, 2022 | Quick Hits | 0 |

Embattled Republican Rep. George Santos issued a statement today demanding that Marjorie Taylor Greene stop talking to him. “I can’t afford to be embarrassed,” explained Santos.

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Frank Coffey is the author of the humor books "The Complete Idoit's Guide for Dumies" (Ten Speed Press), "The All Time Baseball Teams Book" (St. Martin's Press), "The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner (New American Library)," and "The Anti-Everybody Joke Book" (PaperJacks). As an editor, packager and author he has over 200 books on his resume, including four novels; has written for television and film, and been a book, newspaper and magazine editor. His name, Frank Downs Coffey, isn't technically a sentence but close enough.

Quick Hits

Donald Trump has reportedly refused to file a Missing Person’s Search Report for his current wife Melania Knauss Trump with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. “He just doesn’t want to do anything,” shrugged an aide.
Rudy Giuliani’s (current) favorite wine: Pinot Aggrievio.
An investigation by the American Internet Research Firm failed to find any nude photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene. “There is a god,” an AIRF researcher told eTruePolitics.
Clarence Thomas will reportedly resign his Supreme Court seat to join My Pillow as Vice-President of Napping. “I’m a fathead and need a firm pillow,” explained Thomas in his lengthiest written statement since joining the Court in 1991.
Governor Greg Abbott has signed into law a bill which criminalizes decent behavior of any kind, under any circumstances, within Texas. “Republicans will end decency in the Lone Star State,” vowed Abbott.

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A demonstration outside Dallas Cowboys Stadium supporting embattled team owner Jerry Jones was dispersed peacefully Thursday afternoon by Dallas Police, eTruePolitics has learned. “Neither of their hearts were in it,” said a patrolman.

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