by Frank Coffey
Palm Beach, FL (eTruePolitics) – The Gates of Hell will be relocated to Mar-a-Lago a source close to The Devil told eTruePolitics. “We hope this is only temporary,” said the source, “Satan gets pretty worked up whenever he’s around Donald Trump. That’s not good for anyone.”
The source said there were no talks “at this time” about renaming Mar-a-Lago ‘Corona Lago,'” chuckled the source,” but The Devil usually gets what he wants.”
Reportedly, Melania Trump strongly voiced her negative opinion of the impending move but was shouted down by her husband who is president. Of the United States.
Meanwhile Donald Trump, Jr. is said to be terrified about The Gates of Hell moving to the Mar-a-Lago property.
“Donnie’s freaked,” said a longtime friend of Trump, Jr. who requested anonymity because he feared for life. “He knows where he’s headed, he doesn’t know why his father is pushing the date up.”
“He’s always been a huge disappointment to me,” the current president told eTruePolitics in a very brief telephone conversation.
A source close to Jared Kushner denied that the president’s son-in-law was behind calling for Don, Jr. to go to hell sooner rather than later.
“If I were Eric,” added the source about Trump’s youngest son, “the next time I visited daddy in Florida, I’d take a case of SPF 100.”
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela