by Frank Coffey

New York, NY (eTruePolitics) – In a rare personal interview Ivanka Trump opened up to eTruePolitics about Steve Bannon, turning 40 … and finding herself married to Jared Kushner.

eTP: You’re turning forty on October 30th …

IT: Too old to date my daddy! Ha ha!

eTP: And since your birthday is the day before Halloween  …

IT: No shit, so what? Where you going with this Halloween question?  My life’s a horror story because I’m about to wake up and be 40-years-old AND be married to Jared Kushner? What do I think about my life being like a bad horror movie?

Well, I’ll tell you what I think. I don’t like it.  My husband is Jared Kushner. My father is Donald Trump. Next question. And don’t make it about sex.

eTP: Your husband …

IT: I said no sex questions.

eTP: Sorry. We’ll move on. You’ve previously been candid about deodorant – or, rather the lack thereof – among many of your father’s MAGA supporters. And there have been reports that Jared Kushner, your husband …

IT: NO SEX QUESTIONS!

eTP: I was going to ask about Jared’s feelings about the bad odor issue.

IT: There’s no distance between Jared and I about the importance of cleanliness. And that, frankly, is why Mr. Steve Bannon is going to end up in jail. Jared couldn’t stand Bannon’s b.o. so he got him kicked out of the White House which left him legally exposed. I always said to Steve, ‘You gotta smell good to do good.’ But he wouldn’t listen. Smelly people belong in jail. Unless they were visiting the Capitol on January 6th.

But to answer your deodorant question: It wouldn’t be so bad if Daddy’s followers would shower and then not use deodorant. But they don’t do either. That’s why you won’t see many photos of me around the MAGAs, they smell. It’s kind of a blessing for my father that his nose is so bad. All those photos with all those people draped all over him, and you know how he manages to smile? He can’t smell anything! Maybe cocaine isn’t all bad (laughs).

eTP: You’re not saying that your father used …

IT: Nice try, asshole.

(Interview terminated.)

 

photo illustration by Ray Dougela