New York (eTruePolitics) – Apparently angered by the current U.S. president’s claims not to know him, Lev Parnas, Rudy Giuliani’s Russian employer and partner in crime, is busily burying Donald John Trump. Next up, following his shocking interview with Rachel Maddow, Parnas wants to talk to congressional impeachment investigators.

“We will honor and not avoid the committee’s requests to the extent they are legally proper, while scrupulously protecting Mr. Parnas’ privileges including that of the Fifth Amendment,” said Parnas’s lawyer, Joseph Bondy, referring to his client’s constitutional right to avoid self-incrimination.

“Trump is toast,” an investigator told eTruePolitics.

When informed of Parnas’ decision, a raging president Trump fell to his knees and vigorously chewed the Oval Office rug, eTruePolitics has learned.

“I saw it,” said one source who observed the bizarre scene. “I wish I hadn’t.”


Photo illustration by Ray Dougela