Moscow (eTruePolitics) – The Case of the Missing Toupee? Doesn’t sound like Dostoyevsky, but does involve Russians complete with a dark and complicated plot currently unfolding.

You see, Rand Paul is missing his ever-present toupee and the embarrassed Senator is accusing Russian president Vladimir Putin, a long-time friend, of stealing it. Though it reads like bad fiction, The New York Times is corroborating Paul’s account with photographic evidence.

“I think I look groovy,” Putin told the The Times .

“I think I look bald,” said an agitated Paul, who demanded the media stop referring to him as ‘Red Rand’ and loudly demanded the return of his toupee.

“It has to be professionally cleaned like a rug,” said Paul. “I’m not kidding.”

 

Photo illustration by Ray Dougela