By Frank Coffey

Washington (eTruePolitics) – The Trump Family has purchased a majority share in RazorWired, the country’s leading manufacturer of  sharp wire products.  “We’re going to offer free Bibles to every white person who purchases over 10 rolls of Ultra Sharp Razor Wire, the latest  addition to our product line,” said Jared Kushner the newly appointed CEO of RazorWired.

Kushner said his wife, Ivanka Trump, would be RazorWired’s head of sales and had already closed a deal with the White House for over 3,000 rolls.  “Nepotism? No one would believe that,” commented an unusually animated  Kushner who later said he planned to recruit many of his “Negro chums” to join  the company.

“My wife can sell anything to anybody,” said Kushner who claimed Ms. Trump had already secured “substantial orders” from Saudi Arabia, Egypt, China, Turkey, Hungry, Florida, Texas, Georgia, South Carolina and Kentucky.

“We want to give a special call out to Senator Majority Leader Mitch McConnell,” said Kushner who negotiated a deal with McConnell’s wife, Elaine Chao, current U.S. Secretary of Transportation, to privately buy enough razor wire to cover the entire state of Kentucky.

McConnell responded later with a tweet: “We hope to have every school and church in Kentucky surrounded by razor wire by Sunday morning. But that’s just a start. Our goal is to get the razor wire out to the people.” Later in a profane baroque shouting match with reporters McConnell loudly denied published reports that Kentucky’s burgeoning Ku Klux Klan chapter had received discounts on their razor wire purchases.

Kushner, not a born leader, quickly jumped on McConnell’s denial train, claiming the current president had no financial interest whatsoever in the new company. The claim produced guffaws from the three reporters covering the Kushner press conference.