Washington (eTruePolitics) – Following today’s reports that Federal prosecutors investigating associates of Rudy Giuliani have launched a criminal investigation ranging from conspiracy, obstruction of justice, campaign finance violations and money laundering, Giuliani has reportedly been fired by current president Trump. Earlier in the day in response to a reporter’s shouted question “Is Rudy Giuliani still your personal lawyer?” Trump’s answer signaled his waning support for Giuliani.
“Rudy who?” said Trump.
Three hours after learning of his termination, Giuliani, who is engulfed in a nasty and expensive divorce case, was spotted soliciting clients from a Central Park bench. “So far, nada,” a smirking park employee told eTruePolitics.
“When you’re too unhinged for Trump, you need professional care,” said Judith Giuliani, the mayor’s soon to be third ex-wife who is suing him for ‘mental cruelty’ and ‘worst able manners ever.’ “He chews with his mouth open,” Mrs. Giuliani told eTruePolitics. “Beyond gross and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
The firing sent the former New York mayor into a “real tizzy,” one aide said, speaking on condition of anonymity because he feared for his life.
“I’ve never seen a grown man cry like that. Didn’t even know he had tear ducts.”
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela