Pocatello, Idaho – A Pocatello man has self-identified as a Donald Trump supporter, eTruePolitics has learned. “I don’t have anything to apologize for,” said John L. Canard, 62, the assistant manager of Pocatello’s largest for-profit Bible study group.
“Lying is not a sin,” added Canard, who met the current Republican presidential candidate when they were members of Hair Weavers Anonymous, a nationwide mutual aide fellowship.
Canard blasted the government’s investigation of Trump’s business dealings, pointing out that the word ‘Trump’ does not appear anywhere in the U.S. Constitution.
Trump spokesman John Miller said Canard was identified after an exhaustive nation-wide search that was conducted by a Trump employee “on their own personal time at no cost to the American people or the candidate.”
Frank Coffey is the author of the humor books "The Complete Idoit's Guide for Dumies" (Ten Speed Press), "The All Time Baseball Teams Book" (St. Martin's Press), "The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner (New American Library)," and "The Anti-Everybody Joke Book" (PaperJacks). As an editor, packager and author he has over 200 books on his resume, including four novels; has written for television and film, and been a book, newspaper and magazine editor. His name, Frank Downs Coffey, isn't technically a sentence but close enough.
A spontaneous rally outside a Tallahassee federal prison protesting Trump aide Peter Navarro’s incarceration was dispersed without incident by the Tallahassee police Saturday afternoon. “Neither of them had their hearts in it,” shrugged a patrolman.
Donald Trump has reportedly refused to file a Missing Person’s Search Report for his current wife Melania Knauss Trump with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. “He just doesn’t want to do anything,” shrugged an aide.
An investigation by the American Internet Research Firm failed to find any nude photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene. “There is a god,” an AIRF researcher told eTruePolitics.
Clarence Thomas will reportedly resign his Supreme Court seat to join My Pillow as Vice-President of Napping. “I’m a fathead and need a firm pillow,” explained Thomas in his lengthiest written statement since joining the Court in 1991.
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