Breaking: President-Elect Will Donate Entire Trump Organization to America’s Homeless
New York (eTruePolitics) – Perhaps it is time for the haters to stop hating.
President-elect Donald J. Trump today announced that he would immediately begin divestment of the entire Trump Organization – which consists of over 500 companies with an estimated worth of $4.66 billion – and donate the proceeds to homeless charities across America.
“Everything goes,” Mr. Trump tweeted after the announcement was made public. “Sharing is the greatest gift in life.”
It appears the former reality-TV star did not consult his various children and wives about the divestment decision.
“It’s all mine. I can do whatever I want,” Trump explained, adding that he had instructed that his three oldest children, all Trump Organization vice-presidents, be escorted from Trump Tower to avoid “any incidents.”
It wasn’t until sunset that the first Trump child exited Trump Tower. “Fuck off,” spat out a pallid Ivanka Trump to a media swarm as she was led out by a phalanx of towering security guards. Hours later her older brother Donald Jr. was tracked down by reporters at a mid-town Blarney Stone tavern. “My old man is one sick, mean puppy,” snarled the Donald’s first-born child. “I hate him a lot.”
Reports that a distraught man subsequently identified as Eric Trump, 32, had thrown himself into the Central Park lagoon late Monday night were denied by the Trump Organization.