IN SHOCKING MELTDOWN, RAGING “TRUMP GOES FULL “KARPETMUNCHEN” OVER PRANK GIFT
New York (eTruePolitics) A prank gift – The “Trump Whiny Little Baby Pacifier” – reportedly so infuriated current president Donald Trump that he threw himself to his knees and chewed the edge of an Oval Office carpet, according to a source close to beleaguered White House press secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders.
The “Trump Whiny Little Baby Pacifier,” which Amazone just named their Deal-of-the-Week, may be the work of ‘ArtAct,’ the anonymous group of artists/activists who during the 2016 presidential campaign realistically ‘rebranded’ Trump Tower as ‘Treason Tower’ – and in the process initiated an epic Trumpian meltdown.
Sanders refused to confirm or deny rumors that the raging president had once again fallen to his knees and chewed a carpet as was reported following the Treason Tower prank. “The president is in perfect health and has no restrictions whatsoever on his dietary choices,” Sanders said.
It is common knowledge that since childhood Trump has occasionally had temper tantrums in which he threw himself to the floor and gnawed on rugs (usually Persian). The tantrums happened frequently enough to earn him the prep school nickname: ‘Karpetmunchen.’
“Everbody called him ‘Karpet’ for short,” said a former New York Military Academy classmate who requested anonymity because he feared for his life. “Boy, he hated that name.”
Concept and Photo illustration by Ray Dougela