Tag: West Virginia
Aaron Rodgers Offered Free Lifetime Membership in Flat Earth Society
by eTruePolitics | Nov 10, 2021 | Breaking Stories | 0 |
by Frank Coffey Charlestown, WV (eTruePolitics) – “Aaron’s our kind of idiot,” said Clarence...
Read MoreWEST VIRGINIA UNVEILS NEW STATE LICENSE PLATE
by eTruePolitics | Aug 22, 2018 | Breaking Stories | 0 |
Donald Trump, on “indestructible coal,” Charleston, WV (8.21.18): “In times of war, in times of conflict, you can blow up those windmills, they fall down real quick. You can blow up those pipelines they go like...
Read MoreBLANKENSHIP PROMISES NEW WEST VIRGINIA LICENSE PLATE IF ELECTED
by eTruePolitics | May 7, 2018 | Breaking Stories | 0 |
Charleston, WV (eTruePolitics) – “While I was incarcerated for conspiring to violate mine safety regulations, I worked on this plate for months and months,” West Virginia Republican Senate candidate Don...
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Quick Hits
Donald Trump has reportedly refused to file a Missing Person’s Search Report for his current wife Melania Knauss Trump with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. “He just doesn’t want to do anything,” shrugged an aide.
Rudy Giuliani’s (current) favorite wine: Pinot Aggrievio.
An investigation by the American Internet Research Firm failed to find any nude photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene. “There is a god,” an AIRF researcher told eTruePolitics.
Clarence Thomas will reportedly resign his Supreme Court seat to join My Pillow as Vice-President of Napping. “I’m a fathead and need a firm pillow,” explained Thomas in his lengthiest written statement since joining the Court in 1991.
Governor Greg Abbott has signed into law a bill which criminalizes decent behavior of any kind, under any circumstances, within Texas. “Republicans will end decency in the Lone Star State,” vowed Abbott.