Tag: SessionsLied

ATTORNEY GENERAL JEFF SESSIONS SWEARS ON THE BIBLE THAT HIS PERJURY PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES ARE MADE WITH REALLY WHITE SUGAR

Washington (eTruePolitics) – Indict-ably delicious: sweet. Photo illustration by Ray Dougela

Quote of the day: From a perspective juror in Trump trial: “I wouldn’t believe Trump if his tongue was notarized.” She was excused.
Donald Trump has reportedly refused to file a Missing Person’s Search Report for his current wife Melania Knauss Trump with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. “He just doesn’t want to do anything,” shrugged an aide.
Rudy Giuliani’s (current) favorite wine: Pinot Aggrievio.
An investigation by the American Internet Research Firm failed to find any nude photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene. “There is a god,” an AIRF researcher told eTruePolitics.
Clarence Thomas will reportedly resign his Supreme Court seat to join My Pillow as Vice-President of Napping. “I’m a fathead and need a firm pillow,” explained Thomas in his lengthiest written statement since joining the Court in 1991.

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