ON CINCO DE MAYO, TRUMP DECLARES HE IS “VERY PROUD” OF HIS HISPANIC ANCESTRY
Washington (eTruePolitics) – In an early Saturday morning tweet called “pathetic and lame” by the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, Donald Trump claimed a recently commissioned White House genealogical research paper revealed the current president has Mexican ancestry.
“I’m very PROUD TO BE MEXICAN on Mexico’s INDEPENDENCE DAY,” wrote Trump in another factually-challenged tweet meant to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, which is not Mexico’s Independence Day.
The tweet was deleted three minutes after posting.
The genealogical research paper was not made public by press secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders; however a summary (below) of the findings was obtained by eTruePolitics, and contains unflattering details indicative that Mr. Trump did not read the paper.
Paleontologists from Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México announced they have discovered fossilized remains of a rare T.Rump dinosaur in the Mexican desert region of Chihuahua. The “Tyrannosaurus Rumpus” had a cerebrum brain mass typical of the smallest sexually mature alligators and with its short, two-fingered forelimbs is now thought to have been primarily a scavenger.
The T.Rump appears to closely resemble the smaller, equally voracious “Coulteraptor.”
Common characteristics of the T.Rump include:
Short limbs with tiny fingers
Strange hue of orange “reptilian” skin
Greenish/yellow growth from top of skull
photo illustration by Ray Dougela