Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – A new poll from the Pepe LePew Research Center released today found that 99.4% of the world’s penguins believe that Republicans are “spineless, slimy traitors.” A more-than-usually-agitated White House press secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders quickly denounced the LePew poll results.

“”These penguins aren’t even Americans, who cares what they think?” Sanders snarled indignantly.

“Not only is the poll intellectually disingenuous, it is disgusting and wrong for fancy-pants pollsters to harass any endangered species, even dumb, smelly flightless ones that disgust us.

“The current president believes loser animals should be left alone to deal with the march of progress and be allowed to die quietly with dignity rather than be harassed by fake news purveyors.

“Also, the president only like birds that can fly.”





Photo illustration by Ray Dougela