HUMILIATED MIKE PENCE WILL “IMMEDIATELY” RESIGN VICE-PRESIDENCY TO TAKE A POSITION WITH MCDONALD’S IN COLUMBUS, INDIANA
Washington, D.C., Columbus, IN (eTruePolitics) – A “humiliated” and increasingly angry Mike Pence could resign the vice-presidency “really soon,” according to a source with knowledge of the VP’s thinking who requested anonymity because he feared for his life.
The shocking news followed a NY Times piece reporting that President Trump was openly questioning Pence’s loyalty with White House aides, and was considering dropping him from the 2020 ticket. Sources close to Pence say the vp is so furious that he will take a position with McDonald’s in his home town of Columbus, Indiana as soon as next week.
“Mike really hates Trump a lot,” a longtime Pence aide told eTruePolitics. “And quitting and walking off the job right now will embarrass the president like no other president has ever been embarrassed. It’s perfect.”
Pence’s imminent employment has all ready caused problems. Columbus, Indiana has three McDonald’s but only one famous native son.
“I’m a hard worker but I can’t be in three places at the same time,” an irritated Pence reportedly snapped at senior aides, before learning that a plan will be implemented allowing him to spend mornings at the downtown 3rd St location and then rotate between the franchises on N. National Road and Jonathan Moore Pike.
“This is a dream come true for Mikey,” said one senior staffer.
“As long as they’re not about sex, dreams are good,” added Pence.
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela