KUSHNER IN MEXICO: PRESIDENT TRUMP “VERY PROUD” OF HIS HISPANIC ANCESTRY
Mexico City (eTruePolitics) – In a move called “pathetic and lame” by the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, current presidential son-in-law Jared Kushner announced today in Mexico City that a recently commissioned genealogical research paper revealed president Trump has Mexican ancestry.
The announcement, which may have been intended as an olive branch to the Mexican public as the president continues to insist that Mexico will pay for a controversial wall between the two countries, quickly backfired after a mangled Trump tweet:
“Soy un idiota! and I’m very PROUD TO BE MEXICAN.”
The tweet was deleted three minutes after posting.
The genealogical research paper was not made public by Kushner or the White House; a summary (below) of the findings was obtained by eTruePolitics, and contains details Mr. Trump likely found unflattering.
Paleontologists from Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México announced they have discovered fossilized remains of a rare T.Rump dinosaur in the Mexican desert region of Chihuahua. The “Tyrannosaurus Rumpus” had a cerebrum brain mass typical of the smallest sexually mature alligators and with its short, two-fingered forelimbs is now thought to have been primarily a scavenger.
The T.Rump appears to closely resemble the smaller, equally voracious “Coulteraptor.”
Common characteristics of the T.Rump include:
Short limbs with tiny fingers
Strange hue of orange “reptilian” skin
Greenish/yellow growth from top of skull
photo illustration by Ray Dougela