“I’m Proud To Be A Mexican!” Trump Commissioned Report Reveals President’s Hispanic Ancestry
Mexico City (eTruePolitics) – In a move called “pathetic and lame” by the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, current President Donald Trump announced today that a recently commissioned genealogical research paper revealed he has Mexican ancestry.
The announcement, which may have been intended to reach out to the Mexican public just as the President accelerates his plans to build a controversial wall between the two countries, quickly backfired after a mangled Trump tweet:
“Soy un idiota! and I’m very PROUD TO BE MEXICAN.”
The tweet was deleted three minutes after posting.
The genealogical research paper was not made public by the White House. A summary (below) of the findings was obtained by eTruePolitics, and contained details Mr. Trump may have found unflattering.
Paleontologists from Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México announced they have discovered fossilized remains of a rare T.Rump dinosaur in the Mexican desert region of Chihuahua. The “Tyrannosaurus Rumpus” had a cerebrum brain mass typical of the smallest sexually mature alligators and with its short, two-fingered forelimbs is now thought to have been primarily a scavenger.
The T.Rump appears to closely resemble the smaller, equally voracious “Coulteraptor.”
Common characteristics of the T.Rump include:
Short limbs with tiny fingers
Strange hue of orange “reptilian” skin
Greenish/yellow growth from top of skull
photo illustration by Ray Dougela