LEPEW POLL FINDS 99.4% OF WORLD’S INHABITANTS BELIEVE REPUBLICANS ARE “SPINELESS”
Washington, D.C. (eTruePolitics) – A new poll from the Pepe LePew Research Center released today found that 99.4% of the world’s inhabitants believe that Republicans are “spineless, slimy traitors.” The poll was taken Friday, January 19th – a day before the Republican led-U.S. government was shutdown on the one-year anniversary of the Donald Trump presidency, and only days after the current president remarked that the country “needs a good shutdown.”
A spokesperson for LePew said if the poll were taken today, after the government shutdown, the numbers would “in all likelihood be even worse for Republicans.”
A more-than-usually-agitated White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders quickly denounced the LePew poll results.
“This Looney Tunes so-called poll stinks, ” Sanders said indignantly. “Not only is the poll intellectually disingenuous, it is disgusting and wrong for fancy-pants pollsters to harass any endangered species, even dumb, smelly flightless ones that disgust us.
“These penguins aren’t even Americans, who cares what they think?” the voluble Sanders added.
“The President believes endangered species should be left alone to deal with the march of progress and be allowed to die quietly with dignity rather than be harassed by fake news purveyors.”
Photo illustration by Ray Dougela