Boston (eTrueSports) – A just released Harvard Medical School study, using the Standard Beignet IQ test, has found that prolonged exposure to the information ticker (or crawl) on MLB TV’s baseball broadcasts “dramatically reduces” cognitive function across all age and gender groups.
“The troubling news,” said Dr. Arnold Rump, the study’s lead researcher, “is that the U.S.’s already alarming intelligence gap between men and women could grow into a chasm if the sports ticker crisis isn’t addressed.”
Rump called for a “total nationwide ticker ban across all screens” to protect the country’s vulnerable male population from a potentially “catastrophic IQ loss in the next decade.”
Editor-in-chief Frank Coffey is the author of the critically praised humor books The Complete Idoit’s Guide for Dumies (sic), The All Time Baseball Teams Book, and The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner, as well as grownup books like 60 Minutes: 25 Years of Television’s Finest Hour. He is the author of four novels, has written for television and movies, and been a book, newspaper and magazine editor.
Art Director Ray Dougela was born and raised in Connecticut and graduated from the University of New Hampshire, where he studied drawing, painting, sculpture, photography, furniture design, bronze casting and the fine art of juggling. Raybird Design’s clients have included ESPN, HBO, Rolling Stone, The New Yorker, ABC, Disney, Warner, Turner Entertainment, Bodacious Records and Jose Cuervo.