MORE TROUBLE FOR TRUMP ADVISER AS KELLYANNE CONWAY CONFIRMS RUMORS OF ALIEN ANCESTRY
Washington (eTruePolitics) – In a surprising turn to a nightmarish day, beleaguered Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway confirmed Friday ongoing media rumors that she is an extraterrestrial. Conway’s morning began with George Conway, her husband, calling the Trump administration a “shitshow in a dumpster fire” on the Yahoo News podcast “Skullduggery.” Then the extraterrestrial story broke and her day got worse, much worse.
A tearful Conway, who is reportedly furious with her husband, begged the press not to violate the “sanctity of her marriage” with personal questions.
“I didn’t even know she had tear ducts,” commented one longtime aide.
Refusing to answer shouted questions about her husband, a sobbing Conway read a short prepared statement: “I am very proud of my alien ancestry, which traces back to my family landing in Area 51 in the early 1700s.”
Cynics quickly questioned Conway’s embrace of her extraterrestrial roots, pointing out that if her family arrived in the 1700s Conway would qualify as an indigenous person with full rights to American citizenship.
“I am a legal alien totally,” shouted Conway before being led away by aides.
In a briefing, current White House press secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders denied anyone was being fired, asserted that “all administrations make changes” and said the president hoped that “Ms. Conway would do a better job in her next position.”
photo illustration by Ray Dougela